Leaping looks like THIS

One of my greatest fears in sharing our crazy faith journey is that some of you might think we are something more than we are, a bit unreal, a bit untouchable, and thus putting us on a pedestal of some kind (however close to the ground it may be)! In an attempt to make sure you all remember we are just like you, maybe a bit more insane, I really want to share some of the ins and outs of leaping in faith. We can read "pretty, edited, neatly packaged" biographies of all the "greats" in the history of faith and they will inspire. But often we put it back on the shelf and think of them as super human. Of course God wouldn't ask plain ol' me to do something like that.

Well, I'm here to tell you that those biographies are EDITED!!! I am pretty sure that every one of those men and women of God walked the journey of ups and downs, wondering if they could really take one more step into the unknown without collapsing in fear or failure. They were REAL PEOPLE. And people, even the "greats," wrestle with very human issues. AND SO DO WE! Those of you close in proximity to us will have no problem believing me on this, I'm sure!! It's those who simply read of our journey that will be tempted to add a lot of fluff and flowers to the grit and grueling journey. So here are the last few days in a nutshell.

Since the day Heath heard the Lord on the timing of quitting his job, I have had SUPERNATURAL peace. I KNEW it was the Lord because only a week prior, I would freak out every time he mentioned feeling close to quitting time! I have had faith and joy in this leap like I didn't know I could. BUT, I never do very well maintaining peace, joy and love in transition! It typically takes me about 3 months before I feel like I can get back to living out what I know to be true in my spirit. So even though I was feeling great about it all, the day Heath resigned I felt like I was a full pot of water set on the stove and the burner turned on medium heat. I was still soaring with confidence but I could feel the heat slowly affecting the water! I felt the tingly bubbles preceding the boil. And I knew it was only a matter of days before I was a raging, boiling pot of water.

I put off paying the bills and balancing the check book because I knew it was going to instantly raise the heat to HIGH and the water, already quite warm, would take no time at all to hit the rolling boil. Sure enough, within minutes of paying the bills with our last full paycheck, the weight of the reality of no security of money coming in 2 weeks was more than I could handle at that moment. Tears flowed, tension rose and I was a mess. Questions flew at the Lord, "WHAT ARE WE DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HOW WILL WE MAKE IT? etc." Then the whining, "DON'T MAKE ME MOVE RIGHT NOW. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH PEOPLE AND IMPOSE OUR HUGE FAMILY ON ANYONE. I LIKE OUR LITTLE HOUSE. DON'T MAKE ABIEL QUIT BALLET. And on and on." It's actually quite awful to quit looking into the eyes of Jesus and focus on the circumstances around you, especially when you are falling in mid air! Heath came to my rescue and spoke truth to me until I could recenter my gaze on Jesus. But the water is boiling now and as far as I can tell, the heat won't be turned down any time soon.

Boiling water is not a pretty manifestation in me! All my old weak spots are at the surface. My tendencies to impatience, frustration and harsh words are at the precipice of my lips all day. Right on its heals are the nagging spirits of condemnation and shame to pounce on me the moment one of those harsh words slip through my lips. And yet, the second I pull back into Jesus, peace comes. It's kind of like Peter walking on water, I think. Peter said, "If it's You, Lord, ask me to come out to You." Sure enough, Jesus asked Him to come out. Most likely without much forethought, Peter jumped over the side of the boat with His eyes locked on Jesus' eyes and thrill of all thrills, he was walking on water. BUT WAIT! The waves, the wind, the spray of water in his face, and in a moment he was focused on the elements. blub blub blub. But for Jesus' strong arm to save. . . . "Oh you of little faith."

That's our journey. Heath asked, "If it's You, tell us to get out of the boat of comfort and security." Sure enough, Jesus says, "Come!" And truly without much forethought (or I'd have never agreed!!), we go leaping over the side of the boat! Thrilling for a moment when we walked on water and then the elements won over the gaze of my eyes. blub blub blub. And oh, but for the strong arm of Jesus, we will drown. But I LONG to be in the place where my eyes are drawn to nothing but the loving, perfect eyes of my Jesus, even while the water boils, the waves toss, or the fire rages (any analogy will do).

So pray. Pray that our gaze will be locked on Jesus' eyes. That is our one prayer request, truly. Scripture promises that if we seek first the Kingdom of God, ALL THE NEEDS OF LIFE will be added unto us. We know with all our hearts we are seeking the Kingdom of God. And so when our gaze is locked on the eyes of Jesus, we KNOW that everything we need will be added. It's when we quit looking at Jesus that we need you to pray for provision, direction, and the myriad of other "elements" pulling for our attention.

If you made it to this paragraph, thanks for reading all that! We love and need you in this journey. Blessings in your own journey!