Reputation or Authenticity 3

Man, when God hits an issue, he wants it fully dealt with!!!! So this morning I am just laughing at the way He speaks to me and deals with me and loves me! For any of you who have ever been in a prayer meeting with me, you know I can't help being moved by the Spirit of God. I mean physically MOVED. And that means I look REALLY funny . . . .most of the time! After four years of prayer meetings and being ok to be "me and God" in the midst of most anyone, I was tested yet again in the area of my reputation vs. authenticity!

The short of it is this: we have had a couple at the last several prayer meetings that I wasn't really sure if they were ok with my expressions of the filling of the Spirit of God. There were times I felt I needed to be cautious in order not to offend more than I ought and other times I felt total release to be as "wacky" as God was moving me to be! In all of it, I haven't been quite sure how they were judging these actions. Until late last night! They ended up staying very late and we were praying for them, listening to them, encouraging them, prophesying over them. It moved to the subject of our wackiness! I was a bit wary until he started saying, "You know, in the court of the Lord, there are kings and queens and courtiers and worshipers . . . . . and then there are . . . . . "
"Oh do let me finish this one. . .Court Jesters!"
"Well, you know, the fools!" This was all in humor and joking and love. And he followed it up with, "But I wouldn't want you to be any other way!"

So I'm a hopeless drunk! I truly can't help it most of the time. When I am being filled up, I know I look crazy. I've never been drunk on wine, but I do know what it is to be filled with the Spirit! Funny that the verse the kids and I are focusing on is Eph 5:18-20, "Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you. Then you will sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, making music to the Lord in your hearts. And you will always give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ!"

The most ironic thing in all of this is that several years ago, before I had ever surrendered my physical body to the filling of the Holy Spirit, I was at a conference with a well known missionary speaker. She was on the stage and looking absolutely ridiculous as she was worshiping and even as she was speaking. She was letting the Holy Spirit fill and control her even as she was speaking. And it looked WEIRD! But I LOVED what she was saying and my spirit knew that what she had was the Spirit of God. I remember everything about the moment when I sat in that auditorium listening, watching, longing and said to the Lord, "I will surrender everything Lord, even my physical body. But PLEASE don't make me look THAT WEIRD before people."

I'm sure heaven just laughed and God said, "Watch this!!"

My flesh is as strong as any one's and I must admit, it reared its head a bit when I realized again that I will never be seen as someone of poise, academic brilliance, and culture (not that in the depths of my spirit I ever really want that, just my flesh does occasionally. If I really wanted it, I am quite confident that I could get it with many things sacrificed on its altar.)

So instead, I am praying that I fall into that category of I Corinthians 1:26-31, "Remember dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world's eyes, or powerful, or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose those who are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important [reputation, status, academic brilliance, culture, poise, etc.], so that no one can ever boast in the presence of God!
God alone made it possible for you to be in Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made Christ to be wisdom itself. He is the one who made us acceptable to GOD [not acceptable to people necessarily]. He made us pure and holy , and he gave himself to purchase our freedom. And the Scriptures say, 'The person who wishes to boast should boast only of what the Lord has done.'"

Today, I am truly boasting in the reality that the Lord is making me foolishness! Jesus, I give you glory for stripping me of reputation, vain glory, and striving for things of lesser value than Your Presence. I LONG to be filled with the fullness of Your Spirit and all that this entails. More Lord!

[P.S. Please remember that these are my authentic experiences with the Lord, not an expectation I have for anyone else, a formula for being filled up, or a judgment against other expressions.]