Life . . .

. . . has been full of blessing and trial the last few weeks with lots of things in between. When I'm in that place of tension or being pulled a hundred different directions, it's really hard for me to put anything worth reading into words. Someday you may get a good post, but probably not until holiday break!

~ We got a dog! This may confirm your suspicions that I have been comatose for the last several weeks, thus not hearing from me. While comatose, Heath slipped the dog into the family! :-) Actually, I willingly consented to this dog . . . miracles DO happen. She is a 4 month old doberman pincher. She LOVES the kids and is the most mellow big dog I've ever seen. The best part about having the dog in this season of life is that Heath takes her to work every day! Problems averted. I don't have to deal with the dog all day, she comes home to interact with us just long enough to keep her "fun" and not a nuisance, and Heath gets his baby.

~ We got a stray dog. . . that I can't get rid of! A few weeks before we got Zoe (the dobe) someone dropped off a little dog at our house (it happens often living in the country). We let it starve for almost two weeks because the pound was supposed to pick it up and never did. Finally I couldn't stand it and started feeding the little thing. So who does it love? Only me. Problem, I can't betray this poor little dog's confidence and use his trust in me to trap it and bring it to its death. If you need some target practice, come on out, but don't expect me to trap this little thing! UGH.

~ Abiel has bronchitis. She has been sick for nearly 2 weeks. She's pretty miserable. Please pray for her recovery. It seems very slow going.

~ Apple picking and processing. We had the opportunity to go apple picking as a family. I spent two full days with a handy dandy apple peeler/slicer/corer making apple pie filling (enough for 20 pies), applesauce, apple butter, and dehydrated apple slices. So this is the second miracle in this post. If you knew me 10 years ago, you would've laughed hysterically at the idea of me making anything homemade and spending 2 full days in a kitchen with boxes of apples! God is BIG!

~ Ministry. There have been good things and hard things. But I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, serving alongside anyone else, bringing the Kingdom of God to earth. I'm moving back into one on one discipleship role with several young women and that is thrilling to me! I feel alive when I'm able to walk along side teachable young women who just need a sounding board and solid biblical advice. But the MOST thrilling discipleship situation I'm in is with my own daughter! She has moved into junior high mode in every sense of the word. I keep praising Jesus for the privilege of pouring into my own daughter in the way I have poured into so many other young ladies over the years. I prayed and hoped she would let me into her life in this way, but it has been beyond my hopes as she shares her life, struggle, and joy with me. Thank you Jesus! This is by far, my favorite parenting stage to date!

~ School is moving right along and we are still very much enjoying it. Our charter school is phenomenal. Though it is public, we are allowed to teach whatever curriculum that suits our family and children! There are dozens of amazing educational opportunities and we are all thankful for the opportunity to be part of this community. Classes are Tuesday and Thursday and the other three days are packed with math, English, science, and history. I've become much more relaxed and am learning how to go with the flow of the day better than I used to, rather than trying to cram a set schedule down everyone's throat. We still accomplish what we need to do, with a lot more joy and better attitudes all around! Miracle number 3!

If you made it to the end of this. . . thanks for reading, for being my friend, for loving our family. I'm thankful for all of you this Thanksgiving season!
Happy Holidays!

Do you know?

. . . that I've been procrastinating all day. I really need to do my lesson plans for school next week, but . . . well . . . you know. . . I'm procrastinating. :-)

. . . that I have a stack of books I want to be reading . . . but because I'm supposed to be doing my lesson plans, I'm not reading, which leads me back to point number one. I'm procrastinating.

. . . so do you want to read the list of titles that I want to be reading right now? Sure you do, cuz you're procrastinating about something too, or else you wouldn't be reading this silly post! :-)

My list of To Reads:
1. To finish: "The Little Prince" by Antoine De Saint-Exupery
2. "The Gift of Peace" by Joseph Cardinal Bernardin
3. "Gregor and the Curse of the Warmbloods" by Suzanne Collins (this is the series that Abiel and I enjoying!)
4. "Gregor and the Marks of Secret" by Suzanne Collins
5. "Son of Hamas" by Mosab Hassan Yousef (Heath read this and said it's an excellent, thought provoking book on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict from an insiders perspective.)
6. "Life and Holiness" by Thomas Merton
7. To finish: " Qualities of a Spiritual Warrior" by Graham Cooke
8. " The Maker's Diet" by Jordan Rubin (I need to keep reminding myself why I want to be making healthy choices for my family in the way we eat. It keeps slipping my mind!)

Ahhh, here I go. I'm really going to hit the books now!

ahhh busyness

Soooo many thoughts, too little time to put them into concise, followable phrases. So bullet points will have to do for now with an exhausted allergy brain frog . . . I mean fog.

** Charter School classes are a BLAST for all the kids except me and Ella. :-(

** Realizing the depth and extent of my introverted personality with all of the conversations with other Charter school moms, two very L O N G days a week.

** School at home is going well. Ella is getting used to the routine and is much more cooperative. Whew! I think we've finally found curriculum that we can all thrive in.

** All of us are in adjustment period as Heath just finished his 2nd week at his new job as a manager of a warehouse. He's exhausted physically and mentally as are all of us at home. But he loves the challenges of his new job and that is a real blessing.

** Kicking around all sorts of ideas the Lord has on the forefront of my brain: love, holiness, Truth, peace, prayer.

** Reading some good books lately (that's how I unwind after long, exhausting days). Currently reading "The Little Prince" by Antoine Saint-Exupery. It's a children's book but FULL of thought provoking ideas. And if you like young adult fiction for mindless entertainment, "Gregor the Overlander" series by Suzanne Collins has captivated Abiel and I. You have to be into the mythological genre because you run into talking 6 ft rats, bats that carry people, cockroachs that are gigantic and all sorts of other fantastical things in the Underland. :-)

** Favorite worship album right now that's on continuous play all day is "Love Came Down" by Brian Johnson. Very mellow and contemplative . . . brings lots of peace to my frazzled brain throughout the day.

** Basically, life is great. It's just taking on a pace I'm not sure we can maintain very long. Might be taking the ax to some things next semester. But it's fun while it lasts!

GOOD NIGHT

Read Aloud Book Recommendation

I just finished reading this book out loud to the kids: "The Family Under the Bridge," by Natalie Savage Carlson. It was endearing to us for several reasons.
1. It is set in Paris. Because we now have dear friends who live in Paris, came to visit us this summer, and gave us a real taste of the beauty of the French language, we are now all excited about any reading we do that brings up all these wonderful memories.
2. We have homeless friends and can relate very intimately to the plight of the old man and family in the story.
3. It has a very happy ending . . . often contrary to real life scenarios of similar content.
4. It sparked enriching conversations about all of the above for us.

If you are looking for a good read aloud, this is a winner in our house. It wasn't captivating for Ella (almost 3) but did hold Asher's focus (5 1/2).

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This post is linked up to Amy's Thursday's read Aloud Thursday here: Hope is the Word. Again, if you are looking for great book resources, this is my favorite site ever. I love her taste in literature.

First week of Homeschool UPdate

After Monday, I didn't feel like it could get much worse. I'm happy to announce this is a true UPdate! Wednesday, I felt the clouds of dread parting but they were moving at a snail's pace. I know it was because people were praying for me. Thursday and Friday were almost a complete 180 from Monday and Tuesday. We made some changes in the curriculum, some changes in perspective, some changes in schedule and the beast starting transforming into . . . a handsome prince? Well, not exactly a handsome prince, but at least it looked a lot less beastly than it did earlier in the week! :-) I'm afraid the handsome prince, riding a white steed, doesn't arrive on the scene to carry me away until Ella graduates (in 15 years. . . YIKES!). By then I might be Snow White, preserved in a glass coffin and watched over by the 4 little Locke dwarfs. Or maybe I'll be the wicked stepmother looking into the mirror everyday asking, "Who's the fairest of them all?" wondering where on earth my youth went! To my youth of course! Ahhh!
Ok, I'm obviously not entirely normal as is shown by my wacky update. So I think I'll just go to bed and get some beauty sleep! ;-) That should keep the wicked stepmother syndrome away, right?!

Have you ever . . .

. . . felt that something you are undertaking is absolutely going to kill you? I have. In fact, I DO! Homeschooling one child with my learning style was, in hind sight, a piece of cake. Homeschooling two children, one with my learning style and one with a totally opposite learning style but at least a desire to learn was doable but challenging. Homeschooling three children, all unique with a demanding 2 1/2 year old on my heels is going to flat out kill me.
I have a little hope because I know Jesus loves me and is merciful. Other than that, my first day has only given me a mountain of dread. I'd be jumping for joy excited if I had hours on end for each one individually. I really do love teaching them. But trying to fit it all together and teach 3 different kids, 3 different ages, 3 different curriculums. . . . not so excited.
There are solutions and I know I will get in a groove sooner or later, combining subjects for the kids for lessons that are universal. And the positive is that they will have supplemental classes at our charter school on Tuesdays and Thursdays giving me a breather and focused time with Ella. In a month I hope to be updating you on our progress and joys of the first weeks of school! But right now, all I can think is, "I'm not so sure this experience will be taking me further up and further in. . . maybe farther down and deeper under. . . no, but for the grace of God, I will survive, thrive, ENJOY this year! Pray for me please?!

What does sunshine taste like?

Sunshine tastes like fresh California strawberries and oranges straight off Uncle Mike's trees!

The kids and I are studying food chains and how they all start with the sun. The sun's energy is changed into food energy in plants which are then eaten by herbivores which are then eaten by carnivores or omnivores. And the energy is transferred. Simple science. But I have been mulling over and over the beauty of the idea of tasting the sunshine! As I'm still on my systemic cleanse, I am eating loads of fresh veggies and fruits. With every bite I think about tasting sunshine. Which has led me to think about tasting SONshine. Hmmm. My mind spins, especially at 1:45 AM when my detox symptoms are so bad that I'm still awake. UGH. Nevertheless, I think on! Happy sleeping to all of you who can!

Need new picture books? Check out this site!

Hey friends with little kiddos, or grandparents looking for reading material, or babysitters who want to captivate your kids rather than sit on them, (or big people who love picture books and juvenile fiction!):

I have recently come across this woman's blog who has GREAT resources for reading material (mostly to younger children but some juvenile fiction as well). If you need some fresh picture books, read alouds, or good juvenile fiction (for your kids or yourself!) check her out. She also features some great non-fiction books that have been helpful in the home school scene.

www.hopeistheword.wordpress.com

Some of our new favorites because of this site are:

** Too Many Frogs! by Sandy Asher

** A Visitor for Bear by Bonny Becker

** Three Tales of My Father's Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett

** Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney

** Max's Words by Kate Banks

Disclaimer on "Loving Our Kids on Purpose"

Hey friends and readers,
In my last post, I highly recommended a parenting book by Danny Silk called, "Loving Our Kids On Purpose." After a couple of dialogues with some other friends who've read it, I felt I should probably put a warning on my recommendation!!

This was one of my responses to a friend's reaction to the book:

I listened to the Loving our Kids on Purpose messages last year and HATED them the first time through. I really had to wrestle through some of what he proposes especially in terms of discipline. It made me so mad and that was my red flag! I knew it was hitting a deep cord that I needed to wrestle through. So I listened to them again and it really started to resonate with my spirit. I couldn't believe how much I used fear to control my kids. It's the way I grew up and it's the way every parenting book I had read up until that point had promoted. I saw God's interaction with me very similar. I am a rule follower so it didn't rear its head very often, but the fear of making God angry at me was an underlying motivator for some of my behavior. This has changed my beliefs about Jesus' interaction with my failure. Anyway, I still have a long way to go in terms of putting it into practice but at least now I am dialoguing with the kids and wrestling through the "conscious competence" stage.

Other people have had big internal reactions the first time hearing or reading his messages. I challenge you to push through and listen or read it anyway. It might turn your world upside down. Or it might not.

Homeschool Update~

January through spring break is always a slump for me and home school. Once spring break is over, I can see the finish line and a boost of energy propels me to the end. As I trudge through this slump, on top of major family transition, I've simply decided to take the days as they come. I still have a plan, but it's a loose one. Eww, feels weird for this "type A" "producer" to admit to a loose plan!! :-) It's going relatively well!

For a kick in the bahookie (Asher's favorite word for back side), I decided to do a little learning myself. A friend of mine recommended a book called, "Organizing For Your Brain Type" by Lanna Nakone. It has 2 quizzes in it. Yesssss! (I love personality profile tests! I'm weird like that.) One quiz is to find out your brain style and one is to find out your sensory preference. She then gives some advantageous, practical info on organizing your house, life, time, paperwork, desk for your personality and brain type. It's a great read if you aren't a typical type A, organized person and are sick to death of wanting some order but not the kind of order that puts you in a straight jacket!

The second set of books I picked up for my learning spree is about my kiddos. Since I am their mom, teacher, disciplinarian, coach, cheerleader, etc., etc., I figure it could never hurt to understand these little people better than I do at present. I'm currently in the middle of "Loving Our Kids on Purpose" by Danny Silk. This is a fabulous parenting book based on "Love and Logic" principles with a lot more Kingdom of God explanations than the original "Love and Logic." If you're needing some fresh perspectives on your relationship with your children and training them in the context of a connected relationship, this is a must read (or you can download the messages off of http://www.ibethel.org/store/m6/DannySilk/p1273/LovingOurKidsonPurpose/product_info.html- those are great too).

The second book I'm almost finished with is called, "Discover Your Child's Learning Style" by Mariaemma Willis and Victoria Kindle Hodson. This book is drastically changing my relationship with Judah. They have a profile in the book that the whole family is to take. Then you assess and discuss it together. There is an entire side of Judah's disposition I simply did not know was valid! I've labeled it a lot of things (mostly negative) but I've not been able to see it in a positive light and with all its potential. Because of that, I've not been able to encourage or shape the positive aspects of this disposition. Instead, I have continuously tried to squash the negative parts that are so LOUD and out there! It's a vicious cycle. When I'm harping on this part of his disposition (without any encouragement on the positive potential) he acts out negatively even more! And wouldn't you know, it's a disposition I have negative amounts of!! Talk about a blind spot. This is not a book for home schoolers only. In fact, the authors are both in public education. It would be beneficial for families, educators, parents, anyone working with people!

My last book I'm heading into is "The Five Love Languages of Children" by Gary Chapman. His original Love Languages book was incredibly beneficial for me and Heath way back in the day. I'm excited to see if there's any more I can glean from it for the kids.

Not sure who's in school these days, but it's good nonetheless! Don't they say, "Knowledge is power?" In this case, knowledge is power to change my responses toward my precious children. Bring it on!

Homeschool update~

Some days are a bomb, some weeks are a bomb, and some are just great. I have learned to go with the flow! Last week (Oct. 12-16), I had a school week that was a bomb! (Not in the good slang sense of the word "bomb!") We did what we HAD to do and no more. My mind was in a million other places and unexpected, necessary diversions kept coming up. By the end of the week I was in a mental pit, not about homeschooling, but about other struggles I was encountering. I could've let the fact that we bombed the week of school add to my reasons for being in the pit but I didn't. After 4 1/2 years of homeschooling, I realize that one week of bombing here and there won't cause my kids to be uneducated!! Whew!

So God (and my amazing prayer team) helped pull me out of the pit this week and I was able to get back in the air with school. We had a great week! I LOVE it when we soar, when we love what we're studying, when we aren't pulling teeth to finish our math for the day! And I endure when we bomb! So for all you home school moms, YOU ARE DOING GREAT! (even if the kids watched one too many cartoons last week or your head was in the clouds . . . or the pit. Next week will be better.)

Verse of the week

Ephesians 4:31-32
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

As I have said before, anger has always been a battle for me. Ok, maybe I could go so far as to say rage, anger and harsh words. At least it's always been a battle with family, not really with anyone outside of that (Oh yeah, except maybe you, Andy, but hey, you're family!!). It was how we communicated in my family of origin and it was what I brought into my new family nucleus. Not so great a gift. For those of you out there who never struggle with rage, anger and harsh words, please don't judge too harshly. It's something I've longed to be free from. I long to be the picture of quiet, sweet and gentle. But alas, I don't think that will ever be the description my children will use when they grow older!

So as I'm choosing verses for us to meditate on during the day, I'm choosing verses that will be for them, teaching them how to break patterns they have learned from me. But ultimately they are for me. We have all felt a lot of growth in the last two weeks as we were meditating on James 1:19-20 "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become anger. For your anger can never bring about the righteous life that God desires." It was so encouraging today to converse with the kids about how these have helped them stay on top of their words and anger. And I was thankful when they all said, "And we can tell it helped you too, Mom!"

Jesus, thank you for never leaving us the way we are. Thank you that even deeply ingrained patterns that are detrimental to our spirits and those around us can be rooted out and we can be transformed. Thank you that my children are seeing transformation happen in me as they will have areas in their own lives that they will need transformation in. Now they will know first hand that You will transform them if they submit to your work and words. Thank you that you have given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. He has given us his very great and precious promises so that we can escape the decadence in the world caused by evil desires and we will participate in His divine nature! (2 Peter 1:3-4)

The Longest first week of school E V E R . . . .

I'm tired. . . . really tired. But in my tiredness, I feel content. We had a rollercoaster week that felt like three weeks crammed into one. I've had a myriad of emotions, from excitement to being completely overwhelmed, to utter frustration, to peace, joy, exhaustion, awe, and humility, to feeling greatly privileged to be part of my children's education in this way. I have had so many thrilling teachable moments that it's hard to believe it's only been one week!
Today was a very tender moment with Asher. We read about Cain and Able. As we were reviewing Creation, the fall, and then Cain and Able, I saw a heaviness come over him. I thought maybe he wasn't feeling well.
"Asher, are you feeling ok?' He nods his head.
"Are you tired?" He shakes his head no.
"Are you sad? The tears well up in his little eyes. And his tender heart spills out, "I'm so sad that the snaked tricked Adam and Eve and I'm so, so sad that Able got dead and Cain was evil."
Oh wow. So now I'm holding him and just praying. Praying for the Holy Spirit to minister to him in this vulnerable, tender moment and praying for the Holy Spirit to give me the right words to speak.
"It is sad. It's very sad. But Asher, that's not the end of the story. Jesus had a plan from the very beginning. That's why he had to come and die, to defeat sin and death and bring people back to the Garden. He wants all of us to be with Him again, to be in that beautiful, perfect place again. And Asher, what does your name mean?"
"Blessed, fortunate, and happy life."
"Do you know that the only way people can have a blessed, fortunate, and happy life is to live in the Presence of God? Do you know that we gave you your name because we believe you are going to live in the Presence of God and help other people find out how to truly have a blessed, fortunate, and happy life even right in the middle of a sad world?"
And so we prayed. We prayed for Jesus to give him joy in the middle of a sad world. We prayed that the Holy Spirit would fill him up and give him abundant life even in a world full of sin and death. And we hugged. . . .for a very long time.

It is a joy and privilege to disciple my children. I mostly love it, but it exhausts me. It's non-stop. I never get to go home and let their parents deal with the rest! This is the hardest ministry I've ever done. Please remember, this was one small moment in the chaos of my entire day!! Please, please remember that my blogs are only snapshots of glory among the mundane things of my life. They are the snapshots, the moments that are propelling me further up and further in. The rest of the day I'm doing dishes, changing diapers, trying to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to fly off the handle at my 7 year old for flying off the back of the couch for the five millionth time this day!! I'm praying you will begin to see the snapshots of glory in your own life that make it all worth it! And then let it take you further up and further in!

First day of School

I just want to document a wonderful first day of school . . . for the most part! It only took us all day but I was anticipating much more chaos than we had! I feel like a real live teacher! I think we had the biggest challenge with the fifth grader who has a considerably larger work load than she has in previous years!

Our theme verses for the week are:
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.
James 1:19-20 My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get anger. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

We've had several teachable moments from those verses even today! In our family, I am the one who tends to be quick to speak and quick to become angry, often not listening at all. It was a good discussion to be able to highlight one my favorite of Heath's strengths which exemplifies this verse. Heath is most often very quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. And it was good to talk about how Jesus is teaching me, changing me and to be able to show them that the power of Jesus DOES change lives, even their mom's life! Thank you, Jesus for being such a beautiful redeemer!

Judah had more fun in school than he has in the past 2 years! I'm really looking forward to connecting with him in this way! And Asher just wants to finerpaint! But we had a good time doing some preschool things today too. All in all, it was a great day! Now on to the other stuff of life, like housecleaning, dinner prep, and folding laundry, all the while praising Jesus for His goodness to me in a great first day of school!