I'm in a slump. I'm reacting to life rather than responding from a reservoir of love and peace and joy. How do I get here? Not enough dates with my Love. And why, since the only one to blame is myself? Because I felt like He asked something of me that I haven't followed through with. So now I'm feeling like I don't want to hang out cuz He must be disappointed in me. I'm disappointed in me . . . so of course, He is disappointed in me.
Or maybe He's not and I just need to get over myself and have some Jesus time. I'm certainly low on the love . . . just ask the kiddos! So a date it is. . . . . . tomorrow. ;-)
Showing posts with label Life Lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life Lessons. Show all posts
Friday, February 8, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
Equilibrium?
We all like to keep our balance. . . physically, emotionally, and spiritually speaking. But there is a concept I learned in Human Growth and Development class long, long ago that haunts me. Disequilibration: to put out of equilibrium; unbalance.
In my college class, the professor reiterated again and again how there is greater potential for human growth and development in periods of disequilibration. YUCK. That is not happy for any person who wants to grow but clings to their equilibrium with white knuckles.
I've repeatedly found it to be true. These last 5 years have been about regaining my equilibrium. And there has been some amazing benefits, growth, and peace in my heart. As we contemplate a new jump, I feel the rumbling and shaking under my feet. DISEQUILIBRATION, HERE WE COME! And this time around, I refuse to go kicking and screaming into the season that will create amazing opportunities for growth and development. I will embrace my season of disequilibration. . . . at least today I will. ;-)
In my college class, the professor reiterated again and again how there is greater potential for human growth and development in periods of disequilibration. YUCK. That is not happy for any person who wants to grow but clings to their equilibrium with white knuckles.
I've repeatedly found it to be true. These last 5 years have been about regaining my equilibrium. And there has been some amazing benefits, growth, and peace in my heart. As we contemplate a new jump, I feel the rumbling and shaking under my feet. DISEQUILIBRATION, HERE WE COME! And this time around, I refuse to go kicking and screaming into the season that will create amazing opportunities for growth and development. I will embrace my season of disequilibration. . . . at least today I will. ;-)
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Color
Abiel and I went clothes shopping on Saturday. GASP! As we perused the first store. . . my lovely 13 year old snagged a couple of items to try on. Black, grey, black and another shade of grey. Hmmmm. "Taking after your Mom, eh? Maybe we need to explore some color today."
Our second stop provided our opportunity to explore color. Mint green, jade green, bubble gum pink, banana yellow, fire orange, peachy peach, and of course one classy black to top it off. I was so proud of Abiel. :-) Why does it get more and more difficult to branch out of our supposed "style" the older we get? Argh. But she did it. . . and so did I, for that matter .. . a little. ;-) I guess I could say "a lot" since it may be just as painful for a mom to let their first born daughter branch out as it is for herself!
"I look like a box of pastel paints exploded," she declared as she donned her favorite new outfit for the review of her Papa. "Mama and I were exploring COLOR today! What do you think?"
Let's just say, Heath passed with flying colors. ;-)
I give you permission to appreciate color today. ENJOY!
Our second stop provided our opportunity to explore color. Mint green, jade green, bubble gum pink, banana yellow, fire orange, peachy peach, and of course one classy black to top it off. I was so proud of Abiel. :-) Why does it get more and more difficult to branch out of our supposed "style" the older we get? Argh. But she did it. . . and so did I, for that matter .. . a little. ;-) I guess I could say "a lot" since it may be just as painful for a mom to let their first born daughter branch out as it is for herself!
"I look like a box of pastel paints exploded," she declared as she donned her favorite new outfit for the review of her Papa. "Mama and I were exploring COLOR today! What do you think?"
Let's just say, Heath passed with flying colors. ;-)
I give you permission to appreciate color today. ENJOY!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Inspiration to Nonviolence
I think we should pay attention to what moves us to tears. Those stories, people, events are often connected to our destiny. What breaks my heart? Inspires me to move forward? If I continue to follow the Lord and walk through doors he opens and explore ideas he presents to me, I believe I'll find my life connected to the stories that move me to tears.
Martin Luther King, Jr and Gandhi inspire me. I cannot engage in their stories without sobbing. I recently read a short book called, "Jesus and Nonviolence: A Third Way," by Walter Wink. If you are moved by MLK Jr. or Gandhi, you really need to read this book. Really. What I'm saying is, READ "Jesus and Nonviolence." :-)
There is a beautiful strength in nonviolent, non-wimpy revolution. And Jesus was the greatest leader in this of all mankind. "Jesus, lead us first into your heart, in intimacy and then lead us wherever you would take us to bring your Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven."
Here's a link to part of Jason Upton's song, "Never Alone Martin." It's worth 5 minutes.
Thank you to all those who bring the love and justice of Jesus to a hurting world in bondage.
Martin Luther King, Jr and Gandhi inspire me. I cannot engage in their stories without sobbing. I recently read a short book called, "Jesus and Nonviolence: A Third Way," by Walter Wink. If you are moved by MLK Jr. or Gandhi, you really need to read this book. Really. What I'm saying is, READ "Jesus and Nonviolence." :-)
There is a beautiful strength in nonviolent, non-wimpy revolution. And Jesus was the greatest leader in this of all mankind. "Jesus, lead us first into your heart, in intimacy and then lead us wherever you would take us to bring your Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven."
Here's a link to part of Jason Upton's song, "Never Alone Martin." It's worth 5 minutes.
Thank you to all those who bring the love and justice of Jesus to a hurting world in bondage.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Disconnecting
I've had a few months of disconnecting.
And I like it. I think everyone needs to disconnect occasionally. Disconnecting gives me time to think and feel things that are shoved into little corners of my heart. I shove them away so I can deal with them in a time when it would be safe. Sometimes, the only safe time to pull those little guys out to observe and question and learn from them is in a period of disconnection. If we don't disconnect, when will we unpack the things piled in the corners?
In my recent disconnection, I'm learning again what I believe matters. When I am surrounded by people all the time, I start to become a melting pot of every one's ideas. That's not necessarily bad or wrong. But every so often, I want to know what I think about a matter or belief or situation. And I need space to find out what I think.
So what do I think? That's for another day. ;-)
And I like it. I think everyone needs to disconnect occasionally. Disconnecting gives me time to think and feel things that are shoved into little corners of my heart. I shove them away so I can deal with them in a time when it would be safe. Sometimes, the only safe time to pull those little guys out to observe and question and learn from them is in a period of disconnection. If we don't disconnect, when will we unpack the things piled in the corners?
In my recent disconnection, I'm learning again what I believe matters. When I am surrounded by people all the time, I start to become a melting pot of every one's ideas. That's not necessarily bad or wrong. But every so often, I want to know what I think about a matter or belief or situation. And I need space to find out what I think.
So what do I think? That's for another day. ;-)
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Loving long term
The older I get, the more convinced I am that Jesus is NOT in a hurry. . . almost ever. . . maybe never.
I've been loving my homeless friends for a couple years now, maybe three. There have been ups and downs in this relationship, often it feels like more downs than ups. But the last two months have been so sweet for me. Laurie has been asking more questions, and we're having more real, deep conversations about Jesus. Today she said, "I used to be afraid of Jesus coming back. But now I'm excited! I know he's gonna forgive me and everything will be right."
ahhhh. Jesus, you're not in a hurry. Teach me to love without timeline or any agenda but your love.
I've been loving my homeless friends for a couple years now, maybe three. There have been ups and downs in this relationship, often it feels like more downs than ups. But the last two months have been so sweet for me. Laurie has been asking more questions, and we're having more real, deep conversations about Jesus. Today she said, "I used to be afraid of Jesus coming back. But now I'm excited! I know he's gonna forgive me and everything will be right."
ahhhh. Jesus, you're not in a hurry. Teach me to love without timeline or any agenda but your love.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Seeing it differently
I'm reading through the Graham Cooke series "The Way of the Warrior." It has vastly improved my ability to think Jesus thoughts rather than replaying the tapes of discouragement, despair, or negativity. In this endeavor, I have found myself looking at situations differently.
For instance, I had a long day at the school with the kids. I hopped in the van, everyone buckled, turned. . . the. . . key, and . . . . . Hmmm. It wouldn't start. In the not so distant past, I would've immediately thought the worst, totaled up the amount we don't have to fix the van, and been in the "pit of despair" (Princess Bride accent please!).
Instead, I sat there a minute, commanded any little "breakdown demon" to leave and took a deep breath. Standing in the parking lot, just one car away from me, was a beautiful woman dressed in traditional Muslim clothing with her two little boys. I had noticed them out of the corner of my eye when I jumped in the van in a hurry. The thought zipped through my mind to greet her but I didn't. End of thought.
I got out to check the oil (for good measure) while the two little boys eyed me curiously. At that moment, I knew the van problem had NOTHING to do with little breakdown demons or a tune up. I was supposed to introduce myself to this family.
So I did. Nothing earth shattering. She didn't speak much English, but enough to welcome her and introduce myself. I said goodbye, hopped in the van, turned the key . . . and drove away!
Happy Jesus thinking to all of you!
For instance, I had a long day at the school with the kids. I hopped in the van, everyone buckled, turned. . . the. . . key, and . . . . . Hmmm. It wouldn't start. In the not so distant past, I would've immediately thought the worst, totaled up the amount we don't have to fix the van, and been in the "pit of despair" (Princess Bride accent please!).
Instead, I sat there a minute, commanded any little "breakdown demon" to leave and took a deep breath. Standing in the parking lot, just one car away from me, was a beautiful woman dressed in traditional Muslim clothing with her two little boys. I had noticed them out of the corner of my eye when I jumped in the van in a hurry. The thought zipped through my mind to greet her but I didn't. End of thought.
I got out to check the oil (for good measure) while the two little boys eyed me curiously. At that moment, I knew the van problem had NOTHING to do with little breakdown demons or a tune up. I was supposed to introduce myself to this family.
So I did. Nothing earth shattering. She didn't speak much English, but enough to welcome her and introduce myself. I said goodbye, hopped in the van, turned the key . . . and drove away!
Happy Jesus thinking to all of you!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
New Seasons
I've entered a new season. My baby is almost 4. That means I have much more time to devote to . . . well . . . to anything other than constant baby/toddler demands. It has been LIBERATING to say the least.
As I have spent time with the Lord, he is challenging me to return to some spiritual disciplines I had to lay down during the season of pregnant/breastfeeding/baby/toddler (which was a DECADE of my life by the way!). Well, it's not that I didn't do these things for 10 years. I just couldn't do them with much structure or consistency!
It has been GOOD saying no to the flesh and embracing some consistent disciplines of meditation, prayer, reading, and fasting. I feel my spirit being strengthened. I am experiencing peace in my person, not just in my circumstances. I feel the negativity in my thinking melting away as I am able to have sustained times of meditating on the Majesty of Jesus. Most of all, my hunger for more of the Lord is increasing. It's a beautiful season with the Lord.
If you're a mom with little ones at home, please don't even consider changing anything that's working for you now. . . different seasons will come. If you're in a place where you have mind and time space, go ahead and consider the spiritual disciplines (if you aren't already). Jesus is totally invigorating!
Books I'm reading:
The Rewards of Fasting by Mike Bickle
The Way of the Warrior Series of 3 books by Graham Cooke
Song of Songs Study with Mike Bickle
Lots of IHOP prayer room music on the side
As I have spent time with the Lord, he is challenging me to return to some spiritual disciplines I had to lay down during the season of pregnant/breastfeeding/baby/toddler (which was a DECADE of my life by the way!). Well, it's not that I didn't do these things for 10 years. I just couldn't do them with much structure or consistency!
It has been GOOD saying no to the flesh and embracing some consistent disciplines of meditation, prayer, reading, and fasting. I feel my spirit being strengthened. I am experiencing peace in my person, not just in my circumstances. I feel the negativity in my thinking melting away as I am able to have sustained times of meditating on the Majesty of Jesus. Most of all, my hunger for more of the Lord is increasing. It's a beautiful season with the Lord.
If you're a mom with little ones at home, please don't even consider changing anything that's working for you now. . . different seasons will come. If you're in a place where you have mind and time space, go ahead and consider the spiritual disciplines (if you aren't already). Jesus is totally invigorating!
Books I'm reading:
The Rewards of Fasting by Mike Bickle
The Way of the Warrior Series of 3 books by Graham Cooke
Song of Songs Study with Mike Bickle
Lots of IHOP prayer room music on the side
Friday, July 1, 2011
Life with the Lockes
Life has been good. We finished up school well. I was able to be in a dear friend's wedding at the beginning of June in Texas. The kids and I have spent a fair amount of time at our favorite pool (the Georges!). Prayer meetings are moving and God is amazing! And now we are preparing for a four week trip to Montana.
The kids and I are leaving on the 10th and driving up to Dillon, MT for a few nights. Then on to Great Falls, MT for a few nights with my mom. Then on to Baker, MT for a few nights with my cousin and grandma. Then on to Dayton, WY for two nights with my other grandma. Then on to Great Falls again for a few nights with my dad and then a few nights with a brother. Then Heath will fly up to Great Falls and we'll all drive home spending 4 nights in Yellowstone!
We are all really looking forward to our time there. Please pray for us if you think of it. Though it will be great fun reconnecting with everyone, we will need different graces for each segment of our stays! God is doing amazing things within my immediate family so I'm looking forward to interactions about that with them.
On a personal note, I'm learning so much right now through Mike Bickle's "Omega" series on Revelation and the end times. Also reading "The Rewards of Fasting: Experiencing the Power and Affections of God" by Mike Bickle. Reading through Joyce Meyers book "Battlefield of the Mind" at the recommendation of my mom!! Pretty solid book and it's REALLY helping her find Jesus! Reading through the New Testament and seeing so much "new" stuff that I've missed before! :-) Mostly, my hunger and love for Jesus is increasing and as I read and press in, I simply realize again and again, how desperate I am for more of Him. Jesus answers the hungry cry for more of Him.
Funny Ella: Yesterday morning, I was still lying in bed while Heath was getting Ella cereal at six in the morning! She was instructing him on how mommy does it. Papa responded with, "Well, that's cuz Momma's amazing."
Ella responded with, "Yah, she is amazing." Long pause . . . "Papa, are you amazing?"
The kids and I are leaving on the 10th and driving up to Dillon, MT for a few nights. Then on to Great Falls, MT for a few nights with my mom. Then on to Baker, MT for a few nights with my cousin and grandma. Then on to Dayton, WY for two nights with my other grandma. Then on to Great Falls again for a few nights with my dad and then a few nights with a brother. Then Heath will fly up to Great Falls and we'll all drive home spending 4 nights in Yellowstone!
We are all really looking forward to our time there. Please pray for us if you think of it. Though it will be great fun reconnecting with everyone, we will need different graces for each segment of our stays! God is doing amazing things within my immediate family so I'm looking forward to interactions about that with them.
On a personal note, I'm learning so much right now through Mike Bickle's "Omega" series on Revelation and the end times. Also reading "The Rewards of Fasting: Experiencing the Power and Affections of God" by Mike Bickle. Reading through Joyce Meyers book "Battlefield of the Mind" at the recommendation of my mom!! Pretty solid book and it's REALLY helping her find Jesus! Reading through the New Testament and seeing so much "new" stuff that I've missed before! :-) Mostly, my hunger and love for Jesus is increasing and as I read and press in, I simply realize again and again, how desperate I am for more of Him. Jesus answers the hungry cry for more of Him.
Funny Ella: Yesterday morning, I was still lying in bed while Heath was getting Ella cereal at six in the morning! She was instructing him on how mommy does it. Papa responded with, "Well, that's cuz Momma's amazing."
Ella responded with, "Yah, she is amazing." Long pause . . . "Papa, are you amazing?"
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Things I'm learning
My mind is always swirling with thoughts. Here are just a few things I'm learning in bullet points.
** Things that are "good for me" don't always taste good but they grow on me. And sometimes they don't, but I'm trying to stick with it.
** There's a lot to say for simply "deciding to do it" instead of waiting for inspiration or motivation to hit me.
** Being 34 and making new friends makes me feel like I'm in junior high again. UGH.
** Prayer really does move things in people's lives. I'm loving praying diligently for people (who are far away from me) and seeing real shifting! Why does this continually surprise me!
** A fasted lifestyle is teaching me things I couldn't know unless I just do it.
** I feel 100% more energy, healthy, alive when I eat well. So why do I ever slack to junk food? This is a continual learning process for me and God keeps revealing hidden junk in my mind as I surrender to Him even in the area of food. I work really hard to keep "junk food" out of my heart and mind and spirit because I'm so convinced it affects me very negatively. SO WHY am I still ok with putting junk into my body? It's slowly changing. My mantra right now. . . "Food is medicine or food is poison."
** Caring about the end times and the Lord's return really does make a difference in the now. I always felt like it wasn't that necessary to understand (because I didn't). I love Jesus, I'm going to reign with Him in heaven. What else do I need to know? Now I know, I NEED TO KNOW! Studying with our friends through the letters to the churches in Revelation and with Mike Bickle through his Revelation series. Unbelievable focus and heart change happening in me. LOVE IT!
** Getting older, I'm learning to appreciate my strengths and weaknesses more.
** Relearning principles of give and receive. As Graham Cooke teaches, if there is need in your life, give away what you have in that area. If you need encouragement, give some away. If you need love, give some away. If you need food, give some away. If you need a house, give some away. If you need money, give some away. It really breaks things open in the supernatural realm. There are spiritual laws that govern the universe just as there are physical laws. One of those laws, set in place for all eternity by God is "Give and you will receive." Testing this one out again.
** Spending time reading blogs of people I don't know is absolutely NOT beneficial to me. And any amount of time I spend on facebook causes me to feel depressed, makes me slip into the comparison game, and feeds into the yucky "gossip" spirit that prevails over the whole thing. I'm sincerely not implying this is how it is for everyone. But it is the truth about how it affects me. I'm much more peaceful, content and focused on my life (and kids) when I'm not reading about everyone else's life.
** I'm madly in love with Jesus, my husband, my kids (most the time). I love my community of worshiping friends, my old friends in Oregon, my new friends I'm making, the charter school we attend, and living in the Valley (who would've guessed it! NOT ME!)
Have a great Sunday,
emie
** Things that are "good for me" don't always taste good but they grow on me. And sometimes they don't, but I'm trying to stick with it.
** There's a lot to say for simply "deciding to do it" instead of waiting for inspiration or motivation to hit me.
** Being 34 and making new friends makes me feel like I'm in junior high again. UGH.
** Prayer really does move things in people's lives. I'm loving praying diligently for people (who are far away from me) and seeing real shifting! Why does this continually surprise me!
** A fasted lifestyle is teaching me things I couldn't know unless I just do it.
** I feel 100% more energy, healthy, alive when I eat well. So why do I ever slack to junk food? This is a continual learning process for me and God keeps revealing hidden junk in my mind as I surrender to Him even in the area of food. I work really hard to keep "junk food" out of my heart and mind and spirit because I'm so convinced it affects me very negatively. SO WHY am I still ok with putting junk into my body? It's slowly changing. My mantra right now. . . "Food is medicine or food is poison."
** Caring about the end times and the Lord's return really does make a difference in the now. I always felt like it wasn't that necessary to understand (because I didn't). I love Jesus, I'm going to reign with Him in heaven. What else do I need to know? Now I know, I NEED TO KNOW! Studying with our friends through the letters to the churches in Revelation and with Mike Bickle through his Revelation series. Unbelievable focus and heart change happening in me. LOVE IT!
** Getting older, I'm learning to appreciate my strengths and weaknesses more.
** Relearning principles of give and receive. As Graham Cooke teaches, if there is need in your life, give away what you have in that area. If you need encouragement, give some away. If you need love, give some away. If you need food, give some away. If you need a house, give some away. If you need money, give some away. It really breaks things open in the supernatural realm. There are spiritual laws that govern the universe just as there are physical laws. One of those laws, set in place for all eternity by God is "Give and you will receive." Testing this one out again.
** Spending time reading blogs of people I don't know is absolutely NOT beneficial to me. And any amount of time I spend on facebook causes me to feel depressed, makes me slip into the comparison game, and feeds into the yucky "gossip" spirit that prevails over the whole thing. I'm sincerely not implying this is how it is for everyone. But it is the truth about how it affects me. I'm much more peaceful, content and focused on my life (and kids) when I'm not reading about everyone else's life.
** I'm madly in love with Jesus, my husband, my kids (most the time). I love my community of worshiping friends, my old friends in Oregon, my new friends I'm making, the charter school we attend, and living in the Valley (who would've guessed it! NOT ME!)
Have a great Sunday,
emie
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Living with Steam Rollers
I have four steam rollers. Their names are Abiel, Judah, Asher and Elianna! I'm supposed to be the yard manager, but these steam rollers have minds and wills of their own. If I'm not on top of things, before I know what is hitting me (several times a day), I'm flat on my back being run over by four very powerful little machines.
Heath has hit his first busy season at his new job. In January, the work started picking up to consistent movement. By March, it was non-stop movement in his 9 hour day. At that point he said, "I'm not sure how it can get much busier." Well, now we know how it can get "much busier" and they are telling him it isn't even the worst yet!! :-) He's gone by 6:30 and home by 8 or 9. The amazing part of all of this is that he is LOVING his job AND he's doing a wonderful job at it! The reason I share this bit in my steam roller scenario is that Heath's busyness has affected the state of the yard. Typically, Heath gets home by 5:30 and I'm "off" with the kids. He's the referee, jungle gym, bedtime routine patrol, conversationalist. I'm just the housekeeper after 6.
The first couple weeks of his busyness, we made a few adjustments to the schedule in the yard. But the more tired I got, the less I could manage the yard and the more I found myself flat on my back! By Wednesday of this week, I had a minor blow up (maybe the kids would call it major). I realized what was happening and then we had an hour of reinstating the rules of the yard: what gets dealt with and what gets rewarded. The rest of the week has been so much more pleasant! I'm hearing WAY more "Yes, Mom." "Can I help you with that Mom?" and WAY less arguing, disrespect and disobeying.
It's so necessary to have grace in the transitions and to reinstate the rules now and then! Though there was a moment of Mount Mommy Eruption, I am super excited to say the whole process has been quicker than it used to be, more effective and carried out with more peace. Hopefully, we'll be able to maintain order in the yard during this week of spring break. Pray for me!
Heath has hit his first busy season at his new job. In January, the work started picking up to consistent movement. By March, it was non-stop movement in his 9 hour day. At that point he said, "I'm not sure how it can get much busier." Well, now we know how it can get "much busier" and they are telling him it isn't even the worst yet!! :-) He's gone by 6:30 and home by 8 or 9. The amazing part of all of this is that he is LOVING his job AND he's doing a wonderful job at it! The reason I share this bit in my steam roller scenario is that Heath's busyness has affected the state of the yard. Typically, Heath gets home by 5:30 and I'm "off" with the kids. He's the referee, jungle gym, bedtime routine patrol, conversationalist. I'm just the housekeeper after 6.
The first couple weeks of his busyness, we made a few adjustments to the schedule in the yard. But the more tired I got, the less I could manage the yard and the more I found myself flat on my back! By Wednesday of this week, I had a minor blow up (maybe the kids would call it major). I realized what was happening and then we had an hour of reinstating the rules of the yard: what gets dealt with and what gets rewarded. The rest of the week has been so much more pleasant! I'm hearing WAY more "Yes, Mom." "Can I help you with that Mom?" and WAY less arguing, disrespect and disobeying.
It's so necessary to have grace in the transitions and to reinstate the rules now and then! Though there was a moment of Mount Mommy Eruption, I am super excited to say the whole process has been quicker than it used to be, more effective and carried out with more peace. Hopefully, we'll be able to maintain order in the yard during this week of spring break. Pray for me!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Read aloud recommendation and my emotions!
I've been a bit emotional for the last two weeks. Maybe stress, maybe Heath being busier than normal, maybe . . . , maybe . . ., maybe. But in feeling more emotive lately, I've realized that I haven't been as emotional in general in the last couple years as I have been in the past. I think part of that is because my closest, processing friends live far away and most my emotion is released through verbal processing.
All that to say, I cry more at movies and good books than I used to, simply because it releases the emotions that I haven't been talking through. So yesterday, I read the book "Frindle" by Andrew Clements, out loud to the kids. It's a funny story, a well written story, but never in a million years did I imagine I'd cry, no sob, through the ending of this happy story! Abiel was frustrated that I had to stop every few words to cry and Judah just snuggled up and shed a few tears with me! (Secretly, I think Abiel just didn't want to end up crying with me!) Ella kept turning my face in her little hands to evaluate the amount of water coming out of my eyes asking, "Are these happy tears?" And Asher was in his own world on the floor.
You need to read the book, and most probably the majority of people won't sob their way through the end of "Frindle." It's a great story about the potential of person's ideas and having an important person in their life to help make it happen.
While I'm on suggestions, Heath and I watched the movie, "Temple Grandin" last night. It's a true story of a woman's successes while dealing with her own autism. GREAT story. Another tear jerker for me!
All that to say, I cry more at movies and good books than I used to, simply because it releases the emotions that I haven't been talking through. So yesterday, I read the book "Frindle" by Andrew Clements, out loud to the kids. It's a funny story, a well written story, but never in a million years did I imagine I'd cry, no sob, through the ending of this happy story! Abiel was frustrated that I had to stop every few words to cry and Judah just snuggled up and shed a few tears with me! (Secretly, I think Abiel just didn't want to end up crying with me!) Ella kept turning my face in her little hands to evaluate the amount of water coming out of my eyes asking, "Are these happy tears?" And Asher was in his own world on the floor.
You need to read the book, and most probably the majority of people won't sob their way through the end of "Frindle." It's a great story about the potential of person's ideas and having an important person in their life to help make it happen.
While I'm on suggestions, Heath and I watched the movie, "Temple Grandin" last night. It's a true story of a woman's successes while dealing with her own autism. GREAT story. Another tear jerker for me!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Deliverance Update
Just for the record, in case anyone was wondering if I've reached perfection in the area of patience, love and gentleness, I have not! :-) Deliverance has not caused me to be perfect but it has given me the ability to choose. You might laugh or scoff at that, but sincerely, there was so much force behind this struggle that I often felt like I reacted first, only second to think through my choices. And believe me, I worked and worked and worked at consciously CHOOSING to respond in love rather than anger.
I have lost it a couple times since the deliverance. But it doesn't carry the same force, the same magnitude. And it doesn't come with the same level of condemnation and shame. I think it must be how other people without demons of anger must handle their tension and frustration. The feelings still come but then I get to think through what to do with them.
So that's the update. Still praising Jesus!
I have lost it a couple times since the deliverance. But it doesn't carry the same force, the same magnitude. And it doesn't come with the same level of condemnation and shame. I think it must be how other people without demons of anger must handle their tension and frustration. The feelings still come but then I get to think through what to do with them.
So that's the update. Still praising Jesus!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Deliverance
I have been delivered of the spirits of anger, rage, manipulation and control. Plain and simple. I was afflicted by them for 13 years and now I'm not. Here's the story.
I have been delivered of demonic influence that affected my life four times prior to this deliverance experience (in similar dramatic fashion) so this is not entirely new to me. But it's been a few years since my last deliverance experience. I'm confident there have been more than 4 times of deliverance from demonic activity around my life and circumstances but to a lesser degree than I'm going to share about now.
All of you know that I have struggled with anger issues my whole married life. First they manifested mostly with Heath and then the more kids we added, the more out of control I felt, the more I was unable to keep in tact my controlled self that kept the anger from being directed at the kids. More and more I found myself reacting in anger, impatience, harsh words toward the kids. Not always but WAY more than I wanted (I wanted no anger and no yelling and no harsh words). All of these behaviors were magnified in my childhood experience and I remember the day as a little girl I told my mom I would never yell at my kids. She laughed and said, "It's impossible. You'll yell just like I do." In my heart, I vowed I would not succumb to this pattern and for a few years, I was able to hold it together only letting my anger and rage raise it's ugly head against Heath (for which I was also very remorseful.) But as this pattern increased in my parenting, I was haunted by my vow to break this generational cycle that was passed from my grandma to my mom and now to me.
I tried Bible studies on self control, getting rid of anger, anger management workbooks, parenting books, prayer, memorizing verses about our anger and its devastation in our lives and the lives of the ones we love, confessing my sins to my friends and fellowship groups and still no lasting victory. Over the last two years, since our lives have been more outwardly peaceful and stable, I have been able to implement more self control. But if all the conditions weren't right (lack of sleep, bad allergy day, bad eating day, schedule out of whack day, etc) my default was often yelling, impatience, and anger. It was better but not changed.
Earlier in January, I came to a Tuesday night prayer meeting feeling defeated and deflated and again asking for prayer for this issue in my life to be resolved, or whatever needed to happen in me. I have begged the Lord for freedom from anger for years now. For lots of those years, I thought the lack of freedom was my own fault. But in the last two years, I felt that I heard the Lord say to me, "Emie, I'm really not as worried about this as you are. I know your heart and you will be free." But every time I heard this from the Lord, I'd say, "BUT IN THE MEANTIME I"M RUINING MY KIDS!" I wasn't able to rest in the promise of the Lord that deliverance was coming. Now I wish I had. Still pressing forward for victory and deliverance, but resting in the promise that He was planning to do it!
So at the Tuesday night meeting, I was broken again before the Lord and my friends as I asked for prayer one more time. Jonelle came to me with a word that she felt this was more of a familial issue than my issue. In my heart I agreed but I still didn't have victory. The next week, we had visitors from Germany at our prayer meeting. I had a prophetic word for them that they were like a high speed train and could take people in the spiritual realm where they needed to go faster than they would get there otherwise. The following week, I found out they had training in deliverance prayer and were offering to pray for any of us who felt they needed deliverance.
Now, I'll be honest. Their style and maybe even a lot of their belief system, I wouldn't say I buy hook, line and sinker. But because I was so confident that the prophetic word I had for them was from the Lord and because Jonelle had JUST pointed out that the remaining issue of my anger problem was possibly generational stuff, the timing seemed to point to this being an opportunity I at least had to take.
With some trepidation, I made an appointment to have them pray for me with my friends Mike and Jonelle being there for support! After some worship, we started prayer and then they asked some questions and went after "things." For a large portion of it, I felt like I had no idea how to cooperate with what they were trying to get at (or out!) and though I really, really wanted to be free, I just didn't know if I was willfully hanging on to something or what. We took a break and I voiced my apprehensions and then we went at it again. Immediately, when she started praying the second time, I had a very vivid picture of my mom wrestling with something and trying to hold on to it, actually refusing to let it go. I shared the picture and then they went after generational issues, soul ties and things coming at me from my grandma and my mom. When they were done, I knew it was finished. I knew it. I felt it release and break off me. For the next week, I felt like I was missing part of me (the BAD part). I could see situations with the kids through different eyes. I started responding and not reacting (things I was TRYING DESPERATELY to implement but always felt like it was two steps forward pulling a ton of bricks and five steps back!). Now I could just do it. I felt like the little pipeline that was somehow connected to me from my mom and grandma that allowed generational demonic influence of anger, manipulation and control was finally disconnected and now I was simply ME! ME AND GOD!
I knew things were different and that FINALLY, after years and years of begging for freedom, I WAS FREE from the spirit of anger and control! Still I was tentative. I wanted to make sure this would last. Six weeks later, I am still walking out the freedom from the spirit of anger and control! I no longer feel the need to manipulate, control, or be angry at my family (where most all of the manifestations of these awful things came to the surface).
Next weekend, I get to speak at the women's tea. I'm speaking on our inheritance in Christ. Our inheritance in Christ is SALVATION, HEALING, DELIVERANCE, and much, much more. I am 100% convinced that this inheritance is just as much for this side of eternity as for the other side. But we must press in with faith and patience to inherit the promises. Heb 6:11. There are verses in Exodus where God says he heard the cries of the Israelites for 400 YEARS! Why did it take 400 years for the freedom to manifest? I don't know. But there was an appointed day of deliverance! In my life story, I have seen this happen over and over and over. I cry out for freedom, sometimes for years. . . often for long periods of time, and then there is an appointed day of deliverance! HE DOES IT and I'M FREE!!!!! I LOVE MY JESUS! THANK YOU, JESUS! And that's my most recent testimony of deliverance! To God be the glory!
I have been delivered of demonic influence that affected my life four times prior to this deliverance experience (in similar dramatic fashion) so this is not entirely new to me. But it's been a few years since my last deliverance experience. I'm confident there have been more than 4 times of deliverance from demonic activity around my life and circumstances but to a lesser degree than I'm going to share about now.
All of you know that I have struggled with anger issues my whole married life. First they manifested mostly with Heath and then the more kids we added, the more out of control I felt, the more I was unable to keep in tact my controlled self that kept the anger from being directed at the kids. More and more I found myself reacting in anger, impatience, harsh words toward the kids. Not always but WAY more than I wanted (I wanted no anger and no yelling and no harsh words). All of these behaviors were magnified in my childhood experience and I remember the day as a little girl I told my mom I would never yell at my kids. She laughed and said, "It's impossible. You'll yell just like I do." In my heart, I vowed I would not succumb to this pattern and for a few years, I was able to hold it together only letting my anger and rage raise it's ugly head against Heath (for which I was also very remorseful.) But as this pattern increased in my parenting, I was haunted by my vow to break this generational cycle that was passed from my grandma to my mom and now to me.
I tried Bible studies on self control, getting rid of anger, anger management workbooks, parenting books, prayer, memorizing verses about our anger and its devastation in our lives and the lives of the ones we love, confessing my sins to my friends and fellowship groups and still no lasting victory. Over the last two years, since our lives have been more outwardly peaceful and stable, I have been able to implement more self control. But if all the conditions weren't right (lack of sleep, bad allergy day, bad eating day, schedule out of whack day, etc) my default was often yelling, impatience, and anger. It was better but not changed.
Earlier in January, I came to a Tuesday night prayer meeting feeling defeated and deflated and again asking for prayer for this issue in my life to be resolved, or whatever needed to happen in me. I have begged the Lord for freedom from anger for years now. For lots of those years, I thought the lack of freedom was my own fault. But in the last two years, I felt that I heard the Lord say to me, "Emie, I'm really not as worried about this as you are. I know your heart and you will be free." But every time I heard this from the Lord, I'd say, "BUT IN THE MEANTIME I"M RUINING MY KIDS!" I wasn't able to rest in the promise of the Lord that deliverance was coming. Now I wish I had. Still pressing forward for victory and deliverance, but resting in the promise that He was planning to do it!
So at the Tuesday night meeting, I was broken again before the Lord and my friends as I asked for prayer one more time. Jonelle came to me with a word that she felt this was more of a familial issue than my issue. In my heart I agreed but I still didn't have victory. The next week, we had visitors from Germany at our prayer meeting. I had a prophetic word for them that they were like a high speed train and could take people in the spiritual realm where they needed to go faster than they would get there otherwise. The following week, I found out they had training in deliverance prayer and were offering to pray for any of us who felt they needed deliverance.
Now, I'll be honest. Their style and maybe even a lot of their belief system, I wouldn't say I buy hook, line and sinker. But because I was so confident that the prophetic word I had for them was from the Lord and because Jonelle had JUST pointed out that the remaining issue of my anger problem was possibly generational stuff, the timing seemed to point to this being an opportunity I at least had to take.
With some trepidation, I made an appointment to have them pray for me with my friends Mike and Jonelle being there for support! After some worship, we started prayer and then they asked some questions and went after "things." For a large portion of it, I felt like I had no idea how to cooperate with what they were trying to get at (or out!) and though I really, really wanted to be free, I just didn't know if I was willfully hanging on to something or what. We took a break and I voiced my apprehensions and then we went at it again. Immediately, when she started praying the second time, I had a very vivid picture of my mom wrestling with something and trying to hold on to it, actually refusing to let it go. I shared the picture and then they went after generational issues, soul ties and things coming at me from my grandma and my mom. When they were done, I knew it was finished. I knew it. I felt it release and break off me. For the next week, I felt like I was missing part of me (the BAD part). I could see situations with the kids through different eyes. I started responding and not reacting (things I was TRYING DESPERATELY to implement but always felt like it was two steps forward pulling a ton of bricks and five steps back!). Now I could just do it. I felt like the little pipeline that was somehow connected to me from my mom and grandma that allowed generational demonic influence of anger, manipulation and control was finally disconnected and now I was simply ME! ME AND GOD!
I knew things were different and that FINALLY, after years and years of begging for freedom, I WAS FREE from the spirit of anger and control! Still I was tentative. I wanted to make sure this would last. Six weeks later, I am still walking out the freedom from the spirit of anger and control! I no longer feel the need to manipulate, control, or be angry at my family (where most all of the manifestations of these awful things came to the surface).
Next weekend, I get to speak at the women's tea. I'm speaking on our inheritance in Christ. Our inheritance in Christ is SALVATION, HEALING, DELIVERANCE, and much, much more. I am 100% convinced that this inheritance is just as much for this side of eternity as for the other side. But we must press in with faith and patience to inherit the promises. Heb 6:11. There are verses in Exodus where God says he heard the cries of the Israelites for 400 YEARS! Why did it take 400 years for the freedom to manifest? I don't know. But there was an appointed day of deliverance! In my life story, I have seen this happen over and over and over. I cry out for freedom, sometimes for years. . . often for long periods of time, and then there is an appointed day of deliverance! HE DOES IT and I'M FREE!!!!! I LOVE MY JESUS! THANK YOU, JESUS! And that's my most recent testimony of deliverance! To God be the glory!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Laughter is good medicine
"A merry heart does good like a medicine." Proverbs 17:22
"A main aspect of joy is laughter. Studies have proven the benefits of laughter. Cancer patients have been healed through a 'prescription' of watching funny movies. Cells that destroy tumors and viruses increase through hearty laughter. "Energy-causing" endorphins are released into our body's system through hilarity."
~from "Igniting Faith in 40 Days" by Steve and Wendy Backlund
I've been making a conscious effort to laugh with the kids more. Chasing Ella around our house playing "Tag, You're It" or laughing at silly jokes or just being in the moment enough to have fun and laugh. It's been great for all of us! So here's your joke for the day. Judah and I laughed out loud for a long time with this one!
"What was the last thing that went through the bug's mind when he hit the windshield?"
First, less appropriate answer: his butt
Second, rated G answer with just as many laughs: "I won't have the guts to do that again!"
"A main aspect of joy is laughter. Studies have proven the benefits of laughter. Cancer patients have been healed through a 'prescription' of watching funny movies. Cells that destroy tumors and viruses increase through hearty laughter. "Energy-causing" endorphins are released into our body's system through hilarity."
~from "Igniting Faith in 40 Days" by Steve and Wendy Backlund
I've been making a conscious effort to laugh with the kids more. Chasing Ella around our house playing "Tag, You're It" or laughing at silly jokes or just being in the moment enough to have fun and laugh. It's been great for all of us! So here's your joke for the day. Judah and I laughed out loud for a long time with this one!
"What was the last thing that went through the bug's mind when he hit the windshield?"
First, less appropriate answer: his butt
Second, rated G answer with just as many laughs: "I won't have the guts to do that again!"
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Ponderings
Things filling my brain lately:
** Friendship evangelism, ie: just loving people, really loving them. All my beliefs about simply loving people to Jesus, really loving people without an agenda are being tested to the core. WAY more thoughts on this, maybe later.
** Deliverance: it's for the believer. For ME. I've recently had a deliverance experience that affirms my belief that believers can experience deliverance from demonic influence. I've experienced this in the past but it's been a few years. The fruit of the deliverance has been miraculous and maybe I'll share more on this later. I'm always open to questions if I don't get back to this in blog.
** God's timing in our freedom. He's really not in the hurry I'm in to get everything worked out! And when it's His timing. . . it just works out when I cooperate!
** Love stories, true stories, inspiring stories. I'm hooked on them right now. Maybe for a reason, maybe not.
** Seasons of life. In October, the Lord told me I was in a season of aging (like wine). Being the NOT wine expert that I am, I looked up what the aging process consists of. Very interesting, very insightful, feels right on in my life stage. More to say on this too. Are you surprised? :-)
** I'm preparing to speak at an Hispanic women's tea. Feeling inadequate with not much to say? YES. YES. YES. BUT, I AM confident that the Holy Spirit has something to say. Please pray I'll stay out of the way for Holy Spirit to speak! It's March 19th.
** TONS of crazy thoughts every Tuesday and Thursday after spending the day at our charter school with people from every walk of life (well, not quite every). The Lord has put four women directly on my heart and I've begun to build friendships with them. I truly love each of these women deeply and I know it's the love of the Lord. Please pray with me if you think of it. One woman is a lesbian who is due with her first baby in 2 weeks. I spent two weeks in deep sorrow when I found this out. I can only imagine it was the sorrow that comes from the heart of Jesus. One woman spent 10 years in an ashram (Hare Krishna) and has recently decided the hypocrisy and religiosity and heavy guilt of rules and regulations was not how she wanted to "know God." :-) One woman grew up Methodist, then Baptist, married a Jewish man, spent some time looking into Hare Krishna and currently thinks there's some higher being/God but can't imagine there's only ONE way to Him. But she said she's feeling compelled to share the true meaning of holidays such as Christmas with her kids. Her son is Judah's best friend and Judah frequently tells me of his very "Christian" conversations he's having with him! :-) The last woman is New Age and talks often of the Universe setting things up, etc. She had a nervous break down in past years. She recently went off her meds and is trying to cope without them. We have made good heart connections in a short period of time.
When I'm at home with time and space between me and the relationships, I'm confident I'm moving forward with the love of the Lord and obeying His voice in these precious frienships as He's intended. When I'm freshly outside of a conversation or interaction or day at the school, I'm bombarded with lies. Our prayer group prayed for me last week and I'm seeing this in a new "battle ground" way and really trying to have all the armor on before I walk into things.
I forgot how good it feels to share from my heart. To type away without wondering how it will be interpreted. Thanks for reading. But more importantly, thanks for loving and praying!
** Friendship evangelism, ie: just loving people, really loving them. All my beliefs about simply loving people to Jesus, really loving people without an agenda are being tested to the core. WAY more thoughts on this, maybe later.
** Deliverance: it's for the believer. For ME. I've recently had a deliverance experience that affirms my belief that believers can experience deliverance from demonic influence. I've experienced this in the past but it's been a few years. The fruit of the deliverance has been miraculous and maybe I'll share more on this later. I'm always open to questions if I don't get back to this in blog.
** God's timing in our freedom. He's really not in the hurry I'm in to get everything worked out! And when it's His timing. . . it just works out when I cooperate!
** Love stories, true stories, inspiring stories. I'm hooked on them right now. Maybe for a reason, maybe not.
** Seasons of life. In October, the Lord told me I was in a season of aging (like wine). Being the NOT wine expert that I am, I looked up what the aging process consists of. Very interesting, very insightful, feels right on in my life stage. More to say on this too. Are you surprised? :-)
** I'm preparing to speak at an Hispanic women's tea. Feeling inadequate with not much to say? YES. YES. YES. BUT, I AM confident that the Holy Spirit has something to say. Please pray I'll stay out of the way for Holy Spirit to speak! It's March 19th.
** TONS of crazy thoughts every Tuesday and Thursday after spending the day at our charter school with people from every walk of life (well, not quite every). The Lord has put four women directly on my heart and I've begun to build friendships with them. I truly love each of these women deeply and I know it's the love of the Lord. Please pray with me if you think of it. One woman is a lesbian who is due with her first baby in 2 weeks. I spent two weeks in deep sorrow when I found this out. I can only imagine it was the sorrow that comes from the heart of Jesus. One woman spent 10 years in an ashram (Hare Krishna) and has recently decided the hypocrisy and religiosity and heavy guilt of rules and regulations was not how she wanted to "know God." :-) One woman grew up Methodist, then Baptist, married a Jewish man, spent some time looking into Hare Krishna and currently thinks there's some higher being/God but can't imagine there's only ONE way to Him. But she said she's feeling compelled to share the true meaning of holidays such as Christmas with her kids. Her son is Judah's best friend and Judah frequently tells me of his very "Christian" conversations he's having with him! :-) The last woman is New Age and talks often of the Universe setting things up, etc. She had a nervous break down in past years. She recently went off her meds and is trying to cope without them. We have made good heart connections in a short period of time.
When I'm at home with time and space between me and the relationships, I'm confident I'm moving forward with the love of the Lord and obeying His voice in these precious frienships as He's intended. When I'm freshly outside of a conversation or interaction or day at the school, I'm bombarded with lies. Our prayer group prayed for me last week and I'm seeing this in a new "battle ground" way and really trying to have all the armor on before I walk into things.
I forgot how good it feels to share from my heart. To type away without wondering how it will be interpreted. Thanks for reading. But more importantly, thanks for loving and praying!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Reconsidering
Ok, you are my closest, safest friends. A few of you suggested narrowing my readers and keeping the blog. After lots of prayer and considering, I think it's a good option. I've been feeling kind of raw the last few months and not feeling safe to process those thoughts and feelings anywhere. So, no telling what will come out now!
I don't feel like I NEED to say this but I'm going to anyway. In my processing and sharing, I never feel like I have it all figured out, even if it comes across confidently. I value differences in friendship. I am TOTALLY ok with agreeing to disagree on issues. I value relationship over conformity.
So with those things said, it may take me awhile to get back into sharing but I look forward to being heard again! :-) Love you all, really.
I don't feel like I NEED to say this but I'm going to anyway. In my processing and sharing, I never feel like I have it all figured out, even if it comes across confidently. I value differences in friendship. I am TOTALLY ok with agreeing to disagree on issues. I value relationship over conformity.
So with those things said, it may take me awhile to get back into sharing but I look forward to being heard again! :-) Love you all, really.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Enjoying Day 3 and 4
I've decided to try and record how I am enjoying the kids every day this month (mostly for accountability)! :-)
Yesterday, I found myself enjoying the facial expressions of each of my kids. I was intentionally looking into their sweet little (and not so little) faces and sharing with them how much I loved their noses, kissy little lips, and deep beautiful eyes. I definitely need to do that more often. Ella reminded me, "On my forehead are my eyebrows. Do you like those too?"
Today I enjoyed my family by taking a walk with them and the dog instead of staying back for some coveted alone moments. It was so much fun watching the big, clumsy dog chase, leap, and almost tackle them throughout our walk. Walks have a way of making moments slow down and enjoyment of simple things like beautiful skies and slow moving bugs more possible.
Looking forward to more enjoyment!
Yesterday, I found myself enjoying the facial expressions of each of my kids. I was intentionally looking into their sweet little (and not so little) faces and sharing with them how much I loved their noses, kissy little lips, and deep beautiful eyes. I definitely need to do that more often. Ella reminded me, "On my forehead are my eyebrows. Do you like those too?"
Today I enjoyed my family by taking a walk with them and the dog instead of staying back for some coveted alone moments. It was so much fun watching the big, clumsy dog chase, leap, and almost tackle them throughout our walk. Walks have a way of making moments slow down and enjoyment of simple things like beautiful skies and slow moving bugs more possible.
Looking forward to more enjoyment!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Life . . .
. . . has been full of blessing and trial the last few weeks with lots of things in between. When I'm in that place of tension or being pulled a hundred different directions, it's really hard for me to put anything worth reading into words. Someday you may get a good post, but probably not until holiday break!
~ We got a dog! This may confirm your suspicions that I have been comatose for the last several weeks, thus not hearing from me. While comatose, Heath slipped the dog into the family! :-) Actually, I willingly consented to this dog . . . miracles DO happen. She is a 4 month old doberman pincher. She LOVES the kids and is the most mellow big dog I've ever seen. The best part about having the dog in this season of life is that Heath takes her to work every day! Problems averted. I don't have to deal with the dog all day, she comes home to interact with us just long enough to keep her "fun" and not a nuisance, and Heath gets his baby.
~ We got a stray dog. . . that I can't get rid of! A few weeks before we got Zoe (the dobe) someone dropped off a little dog at our house (it happens often living in the country). We let it starve for almost two weeks because the pound was supposed to pick it up and never did. Finally I couldn't stand it and started feeding the little thing. So who does it love? Only me. Problem, I can't betray this poor little dog's confidence and use his trust in me to trap it and bring it to its death. If you need some target practice, come on out, but don't expect me to trap this little thing! UGH.
~ Abiel has bronchitis. She has been sick for nearly 2 weeks. She's pretty miserable. Please pray for her recovery. It seems very slow going.
~ Apple picking and processing. We had the opportunity to go apple picking as a family. I spent two full days with a handy dandy apple peeler/slicer/corer making apple pie filling (enough for 20 pies), applesauce, apple butter, and dehydrated apple slices. So this is the second miracle in this post. If you knew me 10 years ago, you would've laughed hysterically at the idea of me making anything homemade and spending 2 full days in a kitchen with boxes of apples! God is BIG!
~ Ministry. There have been good things and hard things. But I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, serving alongside anyone else, bringing the Kingdom of God to earth. I'm moving back into one on one discipleship role with several young women and that is thrilling to me! I feel alive when I'm able to walk along side teachable young women who just need a sounding board and solid biblical advice. But the MOST thrilling discipleship situation I'm in is with my own daughter! She has moved into junior high mode in every sense of the word. I keep praising Jesus for the privilege of pouring into my own daughter in the way I have poured into so many other young ladies over the years. I prayed and hoped she would let me into her life in this way, but it has been beyond my hopes as she shares her life, struggle, and joy with me. Thank you Jesus! This is by far, my favorite parenting stage to date!
~ School is moving right along and we are still very much enjoying it. Our charter school is phenomenal. Though it is public, we are allowed to teach whatever curriculum that suits our family and children! There are dozens of amazing educational opportunities and we are all thankful for the opportunity to be part of this community. Classes are Tuesday and Thursday and the other three days are packed with math, English, science, and history. I've become much more relaxed and am learning how to go with the flow of the day better than I used to, rather than trying to cram a set schedule down everyone's throat. We still accomplish what we need to do, with a lot more joy and better attitudes all around! Miracle number 3!
If you made it to the end of this. . . thanks for reading, for being my friend, for loving our family. I'm thankful for all of you this Thanksgiving season!
Happy Holidays!
~ We got a dog! This may confirm your suspicions that I have been comatose for the last several weeks, thus not hearing from me. While comatose, Heath slipped the dog into the family! :-) Actually, I willingly consented to this dog . . . miracles DO happen. She is a 4 month old doberman pincher. She LOVES the kids and is the most mellow big dog I've ever seen. The best part about having the dog in this season of life is that Heath takes her to work every day! Problems averted. I don't have to deal with the dog all day, she comes home to interact with us just long enough to keep her "fun" and not a nuisance, and Heath gets his baby.
~ We got a stray dog. . . that I can't get rid of! A few weeks before we got Zoe (the dobe) someone dropped off a little dog at our house (it happens often living in the country). We let it starve for almost two weeks because the pound was supposed to pick it up and never did. Finally I couldn't stand it and started feeding the little thing. So who does it love? Only me. Problem, I can't betray this poor little dog's confidence and use his trust in me to trap it and bring it to its death. If you need some target practice, come on out, but don't expect me to trap this little thing! UGH.
~ Abiel has bronchitis. She has been sick for nearly 2 weeks. She's pretty miserable. Please pray for her recovery. It seems very slow going.
~ Apple picking and processing. We had the opportunity to go apple picking as a family. I spent two full days with a handy dandy apple peeler/slicer/corer making apple pie filling (enough for 20 pies), applesauce, apple butter, and dehydrated apple slices. So this is the second miracle in this post. If you knew me 10 years ago, you would've laughed hysterically at the idea of me making anything homemade and spending 2 full days in a kitchen with boxes of apples! God is BIG!
~ Ministry. There have been good things and hard things. But I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, serving alongside anyone else, bringing the Kingdom of God to earth. I'm moving back into one on one discipleship role with several young women and that is thrilling to me! I feel alive when I'm able to walk along side teachable young women who just need a sounding board and solid biblical advice. But the MOST thrilling discipleship situation I'm in is with my own daughter! She has moved into junior high mode in every sense of the word. I keep praising Jesus for the privilege of pouring into my own daughter in the way I have poured into so many other young ladies over the years. I prayed and hoped she would let me into her life in this way, but it has been beyond my hopes as she shares her life, struggle, and joy with me. Thank you Jesus! This is by far, my favorite parenting stage to date!
~ School is moving right along and we are still very much enjoying it. Our charter school is phenomenal. Though it is public, we are allowed to teach whatever curriculum that suits our family and children! There are dozens of amazing educational opportunities and we are all thankful for the opportunity to be part of this community. Classes are Tuesday and Thursday and the other three days are packed with math, English, science, and history. I've become much more relaxed and am learning how to go with the flow of the day better than I used to, rather than trying to cram a set schedule down everyone's throat. We still accomplish what we need to do, with a lot more joy and better attitudes all around! Miracle number 3!
If you made it to the end of this. . . thanks for reading, for being my friend, for loving our family. I'm thankful for all of you this Thanksgiving season!
Happy Holidays!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Question of the day
Does God meet our lack with His supply when our lack is the fault of our own stupidity in the first place? :-)
I'm here today to say YES!! I very stupidly chose to drink a frappacino at 5:30 last night. I thought about the stupidity at 10:45, 11:45, 12:45, 1:45, 2:45 and 3:15 - the last time I remember seeing on the clock this morning. Several times in the wide awake, middle of the night, I wasn't sure if I should even ask God to sustain me through the next full day of home school and ballet because my exhaustion was my own fault.
Today has had its moments (and it's certainly not over), but I have felt a miraculous uplifting! Thank you, Jesus, that this is the very core of your nature . . . covering us, supplying for us the strength, grace, mercy, forgiveness, joy, provision, love that we lack often due to our own stupid choices! Ok, maybe yours aren't "stupid" but mine are! :-) Happy good choice making to you today!
I'm here today to say YES!! I very stupidly chose to drink a frappacino at 5:30 last night. I thought about the stupidity at 10:45, 11:45, 12:45, 1:45, 2:45 and 3:15 - the last time I remember seeing on the clock this morning. Several times in the wide awake, middle of the night, I wasn't sure if I should even ask God to sustain me through the next full day of home school and ballet because my exhaustion was my own fault.
Today has had its moments (and it's certainly not over), but I have felt a miraculous uplifting! Thank you, Jesus, that this is the very core of your nature . . . covering us, supplying for us the strength, grace, mercy, forgiveness, joy, provision, love that we lack often due to our own stupid choices! Ok, maybe yours aren't "stupid" but mine are! :-) Happy good choice making to you today!
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